Maluhia

I get caught in my own head. I spin off and start freaking out about some minor issue, or obsess about something else. I cry and sob about issues, or constantly research something that is over 4 years in the future. I spin and spin, constantly going. Unable to stop, unable to focus or see anything else. And then it all stops. I find my focus, I remember my desire, and I remember all the answers, blessings and reassurances I've been given.

I see it and my mind stops and I can't help but smile.


Something good... Amazing friends who send me care packages with all the decorations I need for Sydnee's bday because I don't have time to make them and she is so creative! I love Fawn!
K

A lot of love

I feel like Sydnee has had a rough past few years. She's had constant support and love from me and my parents but she's been dealt a rough hand.

She's been affected by the divorce just as much as I have, probably more. And we're both still hurting. I know that every big event in her life feels like as great as it is, there's still that one big part missing.

We've been talking about her baptism for the past year at least, and it's been an absolute blessing but also with that little stab of pain. I'm so proud of her. Proud that she thinks deeply about what songs she choose for us to sing, and who should speak and pray. She was so excited and also really serious about what is going to happen. It gives me hope that even through everything I have taught her about faith and steadfastness.

One of the absolute blessings that is coming from this, is the family that is coming and surrounding her with love. So that she knows, how special she is, and how she has never been alone.

Her grandparents, aunts, uncles and a whole mess of Iannoli-side cousins are coming to Colorado for her baptism and I am absolutely ecstatic! One of the most painful parts of what has happened is the fear of losing part of my family, so to have all of them coming basically is making me cry almost daily out of love, happiness and absolute anxiety!!

This whole post is rambling and kinda weird but I guess that I just wanted to write down how loved we feel. How blessed I am to know that a family doesn't disappear just because there is a horrible divorce. That love is love, and families are forever. I know I feel blessed and so incredibly grateful for the love that is being shown for Sydnee.

You know that Sydnee is truly smiling when you can see her dimple.

This picture gives me so much joy

Something good.... my sister just sent me an ultrasound picture of her peanut with arms and legs!

K

Goodbye Summer

The leaves are starting to change. Our summer of playing in the sun is over :(

But we had months of playing in the sun, and A LOT of swimming! The kids loved the Lifetime pool and asked EVERY DAY if we could go swimming. We didn't make it every day, but we went enough.

The kids also started swimming lessons. Sydnee is a rock star swimmer. She has started to become an amazing little swimmer and does something new every week. I also think she kinda has her first crush on her swim coach Zach. She just really looks forward to class and was really upset when Zach told her he was taking a month off from teaching.

Beckham on the other hand is doing swimming lessons like he does everything else. He's in it to play and I don't know if he's learning anything.



They LOVE the water!


Beckham is such a crazy kid I made him wear a life jacket cause knowing him he would chase after his sister and then forget how to even float. He's just my wild child and I'm always worried he's going to break himself


Swimming lessons (really crappy pics from my phone)

At least I can say he's never been afraid of the water

Sydnee would stay at the pool all day if she was allowed. She's a little mermaid child. She even started trying to teach Beckham how to hold his breath under water.

Mommy and Becks (and my tracks of land, if you can name that movie I'll give you $1)

Beckham kept asking random kids if he could play with their toys so we got him a swimming Squirt.

Self portrait. Have you noticed that Sydnee has a new beauty mark on her left cheek? The Iannoli family is famous for their beauty marks and I'm always wondering if my kids will get them too. I think Sydnee's is adorable, it has literally come up in the past few months.

Beckham loved laying on the warm ground, he spent a lot of time laying out

Sometimes Syd would join him (how much longer can her legs get??)

Fun in the Sun buddies!!

Something good.... since it's fall, and next weekend is General Conference that means we are going to the PUMPKIN PATCH! I'm so excited!

K

Bedtime Stories

Sydnee's (and Beckham cause he likes whatever she likes) favorite thing at night is for me to tell her stories about when she was smaller. Last night Syd watched a movie that scared her so she asked to sleep with me. Then oh so very sweetly she asked if I would tell her stories.

I worked extra this week. As in 60 hours of work. And when I told Sydnee I had to work today she got sad but then wouldn't tell me why. After some coaxing she said that she didn't want to make me sad by telling me that she didn't want me to go and work so much.

How could I refuse snuggling and stories to that?

So with both kids all snuggled into my bed. Beckham holding Twinkle Star (his blanket) and Sydnee having Jack (her stuffed dog) Each kid got one story each.

Beckham's story was about how when he was a baby and we had bought our current house we had to spend an entire month renovating it. Beckham was 7 months old and I couldn't let him crawl on the plywood floor so I put him in the box the fridge had come in.

It reminds me of how my Mom used to tell me stories of how when I was small she would take me to my Grandpa's Veterinarian Office and put me down to nap inside one of the kennels while she used the washer and dryer.

Sydnee's story was about how messy she was as a toddler.

And by messy I don't mean blue food coloring all over my brand new tile and grout (which doesn't come out) even though that all happened.

It means that when Sydnee was a toddler every single gooey, slimy, messy thing she could find went into her hair!

That was her uh-oh Mommy found me face


But the absolute WORST thing she ever did was putting an entire container of Bag Balm into her hair.

Bag Balm is a really really REALLY thick Vaseline. It's the absolute best diaper cream. And one afternoon while she was supposed to be taking a nap in her room, Sydnee was quietly spreading the entire tin into her hair!

I think I may have cried when I got her up from her nap. Plus, this stuff is water proof. So how exactly was I supposed to get it out of her hair?

I googled it and read and one suggestion was to use corn starch. Well I didn't have corn starch and I was babysitting my friend's daughter and didn't have a car seat for her. So I called my lovely visiting teacher who was a Grandmother and I figured all grandmother's have corn starch right??

I loaded greasy head and Abri into the wagon and walked over to get it.

I ended up washing Sydnee's hair 3 times with it. I would let it soak in and then rinse it all out. Then take her out of the tub and clean it out and then start the bath all over again.

She looked like a little old lady. And even though it did come out she still had greasy hair for about a week.


Sadly, this wasn't Sydnee's only bout with Bag Balm. When she was 2 she did this again. Except that she also covered her ENTIRE crib! By this time I learned that using Dawn dish soap can take out the grease better than corn starch, but unfortunately there was no saving the crib!

Even with that messy face and white powdery hair, don't you just LOVE that adorable face?

Something good.... Egg nog is officially in stores!!! My absolute FAVORITE!!

K

You know that one time in Hawai'i

Since I did that whole wedding and marriage thing just over a year ago, we also went on some traditional post wedding vacation. Where did we go?? Well to the land of my ancestors (no not Arkansas) we went to Hawai'i. And while for months and days and basically years of my life there has always been a camera constantly documenting every moment, for some reason there are only very few pictures of this. And sadly the best picture of us together is blurry


Everyone always asks how Hawai'i was and where all the pictures are. Well there aren't many pics and most of them are really bad. I have a few amazing landscape pics which I'm going to blow up and turn into art in my room, but of us having the time of our lives, not many documented pics. Part of this is good because for some reason I was meant to flash the entire island of Hawai'i.

Why not tell this story, it's pretty funny.

Our first day going to a beach I didn't want to go to Waikiki (I'm such a beach snob) and Hanauma Bay was closed so we kept driving and ended up at Sandy Beach.

The reason that this particular beach is named Sandy is because the waves are so strong it kicks up the sand. And so after a few times riding in the waves I decided to go lay down. As I'm standing up I hear "Rin your ....." I couldn't really hear Ryan cause he was quite a ways away but I look over and he's gesturing at me. Finally I look down and realize my suit has decided to shift in the most inappropriate places and I seem to be giving Sandy beach quite a good show.

I cover up, turn 5 shades of purple and walk up to my towel. Past a few guys who made appreciative comments to my um.... huge tracks of land. Well at least they were appreciative, they could have been more like, ewww that's gross lady.

A few days later we went to North Beach to snorkel, I had bought a new suit and we had a lovely day of swimming and laying out. No incidents, suit stayed where it should. All in the clear. We get into the car and start driving. And I'm changing my clothes so we can go to get some food. While I'm changing Ryan asks me to get something out of the back seat (I think it was the GPS cause he needed it right that second) so I turn around and start digging through our stuff. A few moments later I hear a honk behind me. As I look up past my UNTINTED windows and straight into the windshield of a lifted truck and a group of surfers who are applauding and yelling at my again nakedness.....

So by now I've flashed half of the island of Oahu.

A few days later Ryan and I were walking to Waikiki from our hotel, I'm wearing my new suit which is a tankini and hasn't failed me. I'm wearing a lavalava wrap and it's really windy. As we're walking I feel the strap on my bottoms come undone. So I stop and grab it. But it hadn't come undone, it had broken and there was no possible way to fix it. Of course at this exact moment, Kapua (the hawaiian god of mischief) made the wind pick up like it was a hurricane. So the wind is blowing my wrap all over my body except for the place I need most covered at this moment. I'm holding the wrap, the suit and shuffling slowly. Ryan stood in front of me so I could get the suit bottom off and hold the wrap together as we SLOWLY walked back to the hotel.

Needless to say, maybe I should be glad there aren't many pictures of me in Hawai'i cause most of the time I was more natural than I normally prefer.


Something good... I have tomorrow off! Like a whole ENTIRE day! (kinda) And I'm finally going to get to go celebrate Li's bday.
K

(Don't) Bend it like Beckham

Beckham started soccer a few weeks ago. And knowing how much this kid loves running and kicking balls I was so sure that this was the best sport for him (that and for some reason people have been asking me all his life if he was going to play soccer? I don't know why???)

Those previous pictures are all flukes. The referees love him, so they keep setting him up to kick the ball. I'm pretty sure this is because Becks would rather flirt with the girl refs, than run after a ball with a group of other kids. So most of the game looks like this....

His most favorite part of the game is when it's over and his Mommy gives him snacks and a hug. And then he always asks to go get a slush or ice cream.

Let's be honest, OF COURSE he was supposed to become a soccer star! But he is still only 4 and he just got a new team coach (HAHAHAH Poor Ryan got suckered in) So we'll see, and if not I will have hours of entertainment watching Beckham flirting, and watching clouds in the sky while the soccer ball goes rolling past him

Well good thing he's so cute.... maybe he could become a model?

Something good.... I made mochi, which is my favorite Hawaiian dessert. Maybe it's actually not that good cause I ate the whole pan by myself! But it's so YUMMY!

K

Talk like a pirate day!

It's National Talk Like a Pirate Day! This means that everyone else in the country is supposed to talk like my 4 year old already does. If you need some inspiration I have a mini Jack Sparrow who would be happy to tutor you on the proper way to say Yarrggghh!

I hope you have a great day filled with booty!

Something good... There is candy corn out in stores!!! YAY!

K

Anniversary and sickness

Remember how I mentioned that I got married so some random stranger about a year ago? Well we celebrated that with a night up in Denver. To be perfectly honest, I bought tickets to Les Miserables and just happened to time them for that weekend.

I mean, I was always going to go to that show anyway. Now I just had a really good excuse to buy 3rd row tickets..... hehehe

But then I got sick. I was diagnosed with H. pylori when I was in high school. All I remember was that my stomach constantly hurt and I chugged Pepto Bismol like Coca-Cola (I hate chalky substances so this is a very big deal)

My stomach started hurting the day before the play. And not hurting with any purpose, just pain like having a migraine in your abdomen. I didn't want to eat, I was exhausted, I felt nauseous, I felt dizzy... good times!

But nothing was going to keep me from my Marius!

So armed with a bottle of Pepto, I braved the night of having to sit still and not being able to thrash side to side. Oh and I took that random guy with me too


Don't be impressed by the hair, it's put up because I didn't have the energy to actually do it.

I have a picture of myself in this pose at almost every show I've seen at the Temple Buell theatre in Denver, I felt like junk but I had to at least be pretty. I mean, what if Marius could see me from the stage? And he had to run to me in the middle of the performance? And???

Sorry, day dreaming while typing

Yes, I'm married, but Marius has been on "the list" since I was 15, so it's all good



You know it's an anniversary night, and you booked a hotel, and the kids are all gone, and you got Cheesecake Factory white chocolate cheesecake for dessert, and you get back to the hotel, take one bite of cheesecake (which your husband then steals and hoovers into his mouth, still not happy about that) and then you zzzzzzzzzzzzzz!

That's right folks, I planned a special day and evening (did I mention we had a couples massage earlier in the day?) but I was so sick I PASSED OUT! I've never passed out, like something I would imagine if I had ever been intoxicated (which I neva evaa have) unless that Pepto had something in it????

The next day was spent with me continually drinking pink chalky nasty stuff and driving to ALL (4) the Target's in Denver for Ryan to search for magical rare Transformers.... sense my excitement?

It was our actual anniversary and we planned on taking the kids to a nice"r" dinner. And then I fell asleep at 2pm, and did not awaken until the next morning.

I'm a rock star wife!

Let's recap.....

Couples massage

Made my husband go to a depressing (and so amazing!) Broadway Musical where everybody dies

Passed out during dessert in bed (not like that get your mind out of the gutter)

Transformers while whining and drinking from a bottle

Leaving him to do everything while I got 16 hours of beauty rest on our anniversary, I think he finally took the kids and got Taco Bell....

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY RY!!!

Something good.... Beckham started soccer last weekend. And I took my camera which didn't have a memory care (grrrr) BUT he plays again this weekend and I plan on getting some sweet action shots. Like when he flirts with the refs while the other kids play.... that's my boy!

K

Tooth Fairy Trickery

Sydnee lost a tooth yesterday, actually more correct, Sydnee's tooth was loose and she did everything in her power to push that thing out of her mouth!


Then she told me of a brilliant idea. We were going to take the tooth and sprinkle pepper on it, then wrap it in aluminum foil.

When the tooth fairy opens the foil to get the tooth, the pepper will make her sneeze and all her money will fly out of her pockets!!

Devious plan huh?

So we wrapped the tooth and got it ready. Sydnee decided to write a letter to the tooth fairy because sometimes in the past, when she has lost a tooth and stayed the night at my parents' house the tooth fairy has forgotten where she was.

This time she (cough cough Dad/PopPop!) better not forget

The tooth fairy will totally get it right this time!


Our new toothless smile, just in time for her baptism in 3 weeks

The trick totally worked. Sydnee called me at work this morning before school and told me that the tooth fairy sneezed out $2.73! Ha Ha HA!! (cue evil laugh)

Syd then told me she was going to save her money so she could be a missionary!

I love this little girl!

Something good.... everyone is pregnant (not me!) but one of my best friends Brea just found out she's pregnant with TWINS!!!!

K

Where do I turn for peace?

Compared to the tragic and unspeakable tragedy and heartbreaks that some other people are going through right now I really don't have any reason to be feeling the way I do right now. But this is my diary and what not, my blog and I'll write what I want to.

I had one of those mornings where I literally jumped out of bed at 4am. Fear absolutely overtaking me. I ripped apart my house and my car. I drove to work (they were shocked to see me in my pjs) and searched everywhere frantically. All while crying and fearing the absolute worst.

I didn't notice this for a few days because everything is normally in it's proper place. My car is very clean so items missing is not something I would be alerted to.

My car must have a some point been unlocked and my GPS, Ipod, and work computer were all stolen. The fear that I have was for my work computer. It's password locked and a really crappy computer, but it's my responsibility. I dropped the ball, big time. Sure I'm upset that my pristine Ipod is gone, I hated my TomTom GPS and now have an excuse to get a Garmin. But it's the worry that I have failed at my job, that I could get into serious trouble.

I woke up at 4am and after tornadoing around and realizing it was gone I sat in my bed. Not able to sleep, not even able to lay down. Absolute panic and tears running down my face. All this time with a prayer in my heart.... to find it. Then I realized I was praying for the wrong thing, and I needed to pray for peace. After doing this I start looking at pictures on my phone. It's a modpodge of moments. Time is AZ, time with friends, pictures of my kids silly faces. This is when I felt peace. All of the amazing and beautiful parts of my life that were not going to change from my moment of stupidity. And then I looked at some pictures that made me cry for an entirely different reason. They are proof that through all of my mistakes, my efforts are more important. That I must be doing something right.

5 guys is my favorite burger (no In N Out in CO) with my favorite girl

Birthday dinner with a man who is learning how to deal with my panic moments. It's a lot of work, but we're both trying

Two fluffy, mischievous, but loving puppies. Who are starting to learn their training

A little boy who has wanted to hold my hand all day

But the most peace I was given was from seeing evidence that my daughter has chosen to be baptized. She is so excited and talks about it constantly. She is growing up and becoming such a beautiful person. These pictures remind me that I get to have this precious girl with me for an eternity. And how could something so small as a computer compare to having her forever?

These pictures are the ones that are not on her invitations. I'll have to have a post with all of her amazing pictures.

This is where I find peace. I find love, I find hope. This one little girl who changed my entire life. She made me a Mom, she made me a fighter, she made me strong, she made me know real love.

Something good.... since I was up since 4am, I had time to make a yummy pancake breakfast with fresh fruit and juice. Syd really loved it

K