Wednesday, December 12, 2012

A Very Merry Christmas

The cards are officially mailed, and are arriving to friends and family. It's not really going to be a shock but it truly is a decision that has taken a lot of time, tears, and hope to happen.

Rex and I are engaged. We have been for a little while I just wasn't ready to share my news with the world. I have realized that there are some things that are so precious you don't need other peoples input, even if happy and supportive, to tarnish the moment. Our children are absolutely ecstatic and Sydnee told me she had been praying for this every single day since he moved away. It breaks my heart to think about the pain we have all had to go through, but it absolutely thrills me to realize what a blessing the time and distance actually added to our relationship and family.

It might not be a shock for most people to hear that while Rex is being romantic, telling me how much I am loved and trying to propose I am sleep deprived and overreacting to something he said (it was 2am) I didn't acknowledge for a few days that he had proposed (albeit he did it with the words "this divorce just really isn't working out for us" he's a cheeseball) My initial reaction was asking if he was joking because I was mad at him at that moment, his response was telling me that he knew I was mad but he wanted to marry me every moment, even those when we were frustrated with each other. Sometimes I can be a bit stubborn and I had to eat a bunch of humble pie to realize that I was being grumpy and not responding the way I should. No worries though when I saw the ring I melted. I'm a normal girl who's a sucker for big diamonds, especially when a super HOT guy is offering it to me!

 There is nothing better in this life than having your family complete. Mom, Dad and kids. It heals holes in all of our hearts and lives that couldn't be filled unless we all were together.

There is the complete emotion of  KNOWING this is where I am supposed to be. The relationship Rex and I now share only resembles before by showing the best hints of our younger years. The time has only made our renewed dedication more solid. Before there was an occasional lingering question of what would be the straw to break us. Now there is an absolute knowledge that there is nothing to break our family. We are what comes first and for the first time in my life I understand what it means to love someone completely and be an eternal partner. If I needed to go through the hell and pain the past years were to get to this blissful moment, then I would do it over and over again to be right where I am right now.

I am going to become that sickeningly gushy person who cannot and will not stop raving over how wonderful my love is. How I am taken care of, pushed to always be my best, how I am just loved. My dream guy who finally grew into the man I always saw when he doubted. I know I have changed so much. I had years where I had to depend on me. And we both now have more to give and understand how truly precious our family and love is.

We hope that soon our family will actually grow. We do have a wedding date and plan set and it is 100% going to be my dreams unfolding before my eyes.

I don't ever expect that the rest of life or our relationship will be complete smooth sailing for the rest of our lives. And there have been plenty of fights and arguments, but the newest point of view has become "you are more important than whatever we are fighting about, how do we take care of each other and move forward" vs fighting to prove who is right.

I love this man, I love who he has fought, even himself, to become. How lucky I am to hold his hand everyday, to see him hug our children, to have my very best friend share my life, and to end each day hearing him tell me I am loved. 
This is my something good, this is my everything wonderful. This is my happy

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