Monday, March 5, 2012

Hawaiian Roller coaster ride

I've taught a hula to the Lilo and Stitch song Hawaiian Roller coaster Ride so many times that I can't even think the word roller coaster without the song playing in my head.

Anyway, I'm on a roller coaster, and I'm kinda getting motion sickness. One moment I'm ready to conquer the world, the next I'm begging people to show me love. I'm crying, then I'm angry, then I'm hopeful, then I'm think of doing something completely irrational.... I cannot stop, I cannot hold still, I'm exhausted.

I got off work at 6am this morning, I was awake and not going back to sleep by 9am. Not by real choice but because I kept having nightmares about him that made me wake up with an anxiety attack twice, after the second nightmare I decided to face my real life nightmare and get up.

I'm grateful for my family. For parents who come over just to be supportive and helpful, for sisters that try to be there, for random brother in laws that let me know I still have family. I'm strangely grateful for my children's father for making sure I don't forget I'm a wonderful mother and making sure the children know they're loved. I'm grateful for my dog who if given a chance will never leave my side. I'm grateful for kids who find such joy over gurgling blue mouthwash. I'm grateful for my ward family that is always is happy to pick up my slack and help with my children. I'm grateful it's almost spring because I love planting flowers. I'm grateful I at least can financially support my family myself....

A little bit better, still up and down but hoping this ride will even out soon.

Let's get pumpin surfs up and jumpin, coastin with the motion of the ocean, whirlpool swirling, cascading twirling....

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