Fanwzzzzz

It's my little pixie Fawn's birthday today!!! We've been best friends since we were 13. I've known her most of my life, which is scary to realize. Like all friends we've had moments but honestly I can say she's always been an amazing friend! (except for that time she kissed the guy I was in love with at prom....but that's another story)

13 years old, we wore water bras, dipped matching necklaces in the lake and wore mens' thrift store shirts.  

The geekiness continued through junior high, our little group of friends. Recognize that guy in the middle? He lost a bet, and years later I married him.

We used to ditch seminary and go to breakfast and pumpkin chunking festivals

I don't have any of our pics on this computer but Fawn is the friend that I shared the first time Momminess with. She had Christian 5 months after Sydnee. We went swimming and to the park multiple times every week. We spent hours talking about marriage and Mommyhood, some of my favorite moments were sitting at the mall play area and talking to my best friend while our babies crawled around us.

 Even though I moved to CO, Fawn and I have remained close. We talk on the phone all the time and I spend a lot of my time with her when I visit.

Fawn's come up to CO more than any other friend. She came when Beckham was blessed, when Rex and I separated, and for my wedding. I've had baby showers, bridal showers, birthday parties and even my wedding reception at her house. She's amazing! I call her mini-Martha Stewart. She even sent me decorations for Sydnee's baptism. She's always there when I need her!

I think everyone needs that friend that can understand every aspect of your personality. Whether it's being a responsible Mommy, a wife, or going back to being a goofy teenager for just a few hours. I love my Fawnz! Very Happy Happy Birthday!! I can't wait for her big 3-0 celebration I'm sure we're going to have next year!

 

Oh and someday I'll forgive her for that prom fiasco ;)

Something good.... Only 6 1/2 more hours then I don't have to work a night shift for almost 2 weeks! I LOVE sleeping nightly!

K

It's 4am

Oh, I knew it was coming. The can't focus my eyes to even consider reading all I want to do is curl up and sleep. I'm so exhausted!!!!

Something good...Snow Patrol new album!!! I love a man with an accent!

K

Motivation

Most of the time I try to embrace the fact that I have hula hips. I'm proud of my heritage and realize with that brings the genetics of being a poly. But having friend who are 100lb dripping wet (not even 90lb with Fawn) can sometimes kinda be havoc on my okness with my size. I just need to kick my butt in gear to be my best me. I LOVE working out, I love how I feel, what it does to my body. But I've been getting lazy lately. It took me FOREVER to lose weight after having the kids, but I finally got there. But I need to kick it back up again, my favorite jeans are a little too tight. So I'm posting my motivation! Reasons and moments when I was really putting in the time and I felt great!

This was one semester before graduation. Oh and I read all those books cover to cover

 

My 26th birthday. I really love working out my legs and I miss my calves looking like that

In high school I played softball, my body has changed so much from having babies but it's always something to aspire to.

These are my favorite jeans. I don't really know why just that I always love when I wear them!

Something good...I'm going to make Valentines with the kids tonight. We're going to send homemade cards to friends and family this year

K



Discovery

I have a million pictures and usually when someone else has photos I hound until I get them. But I found one that I'm really excited about....

 My Dad has an online photo album and while looking through it I found this picture of Becks. Still in the hospital and truly showing what a large almost 9lb moose I pushed out of my body. Sydnee was 5lb and was 6 weeks premature, Rex was almost 11lb so I was a little scared having a baby at term. And was I right!! Syd was 3 pushes and literally laughing at Rex's freaking out face, Beckham was 3 hours of pushing while I kept passing out. After that I couldn't move for days. So there aren't a lot of pics of Beckham in the hospital. So I was happy to see a cute pic of my baby boy.

The only other pic I have is one as he was being bathed, it's the bottom left pic

Those cheeks only got bigger! Becks couldn't close his mouth because his cheeks were too big. 

I know I say it a lot but Beckham is my happiness. I was not very happy when I found out I was pregnant. I thought it was the worst timing and literally the night before we had a conversation about it and decided to wait. I sobbed when I found out, while Rex was thrilled. I really kinda freaked out for most of his pregnancy, I had a hard time bonding. But the moment he finally came into the world I started crying because of how much I loved him and I snuggled him last night as he was sleeping and still feel that same love. Heavenly Father really knew better than I did in sending my red haired, chunky baby into my life. The red hair is gone, he can close his mouth now, but if possible I love him even more.  

My kids are the reason for everything I do. Being a parent is one of the greatest callings I will ever have. It changes your entire being. When you only have one child you constantly wonder if you will love the next one as much because your heart is already full. Having another baby just makes your heart grow. My Becks is my little man, always wants to hug his Mommy, he's fiercely loyal to his girls (Syd and I) he's always happy, so funny, he's just love!

Something good... got tickets for my girls night with Krystal to American Idiot! So excited! I've been a musical buff forever so every time I get tickets I feel giddy!

K  

So much bull

Working nights can sometimes SUCK!!! But it has always worked out better for my kids so I do it (mostly) happily. But after a certain time of night, there is nothing to do.... Which is why there will be not ONE but TWO amazing, deep, emotion wrenching posts (because I think talking about my hair is obviously emotional for everyone)

Literally I got nothin, no words of profound wisdom. No insights where the world suddenly feels right again. Currently I'm kinda on non-emotional auto pilot. I have been accused of being an ice queen before, of it being creepy that I can know or have something horrible going on and I'm unfazed. Not going to lie, it's a gift, and it's been well honed.

So let's go back to the moment when I SWORE (and haven't lived up to) that this was going to be the blog where I was honest about my life. Of not only posting the happy, letsholdhandsandskip moments. I seriously haven't lived up to that. Some of it is that I seem to go on hiatus from anything electronic from time to time, the other is that if I posted the honest truth then people out in blogland (blogworld, blogtropolis? We should really decide a name) would be going WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?!?!

ANNNND since I don't exactly know what I'm doing I shall sit and continue to only post amazingly beautiful pics of myself (but seriously, have you seen me? I'm hot!)

AHH I love 5am and how full of BS I can be!

Let's see what's happened lately I should put in my open to the world like I'm Dougie Howser journal??

I love my Mommy, I've had a lot of trying issues and those will continue but I really feel love and reassurance that I'm supported lately. I really appreciate it and need to make sure I write it down so I and everyone else can remember that.

I love my Dad, love that even though he's not much of a talker he brings me lunch and Syd gatorade when she's sick.

Sydnee was cast as Sleeping Beauty (so fitting) for her school play

It was Rex's bday this week, so shout out to him.... It was a bronco!

My sister Klair is the sweetest girl ever who frequently sends me texts to tell me she loves me (she's one of my three blog readers, the others being my Mother and who knows)

This is kinda turning gushy.... weird....

I got an awesome VS pants and sweater set (thanks Ry) Since I only have to wear scrubs to part of my job and the other times it doesn't matter I LIVE in PINK sweats! I have come to consider wearing jeans as dressing up.

Coming to AZ in a few weeks, baby showers (as in plural) for my sister.

One of my lifelong best friends Liss got married, and I'm very happy for her

My girly Emily got engaged. I've been "mentoring" her time to time with her boyfriend. (But seriously? Who listens to me when it comes to relationships? I make horrible relationship decisions!) But either way, I love her and her fiance is awesome so they should be great!

And now if you've skipped my rambling and just like to see pictures (I'm totally guilty of that reading other people's blogs)

Mom

Liss

Emily

Bday boy Ace.... HAHAHAHA tried to find something embarrassing for him! But can ya blame me for having 2 kids with that guy? But seriously, glad we can be friends when needed. SO happy he's really been stepping up to be closer to the kids! If only he knew the difference between a scout and a bronco!

AH my brain at now 6AM, is really random!

Something good.... 1 more hour then I ZZZZzzzzz! To wake up 4 hours later to go back to work! I might be a workaholic

K

Like a teenager

I was told the other week that I change my hair more than anyone else this person knew. Why thank you! Quite the compliment! Once in high school choir I was actually voted cutest hair. But honestly, I get bored and I'm not going to pierce something or ink myself to change, so my hair becomes my canvas.

After I dyed my hair orange for Halloween with the wash out dye, it stayed orange. I tried to fix it but I was going to kill it to get it back to blond so I decided to go red. And late one night while sitting on my couch I then transformed into a teenager and took some self pics of my new redness.

Is it surprising that my children don't even notice when I change my hair anymore? Not one word.



Goofy smile!

Something good.... I love my Kindle Fire, but the fact that I can download books instantly is kinda not so good for my bank account!

K

Candy Ninja

A few weeks ago Sydnee came in to the room to tattle on Beckham

Sydnee: "I saw Beckham standing on the stove stealing candy from on top of the fridge!!"

I turn around to look at Beckham with that knowing Mom-look

Beckham shrugs his shoulders: "What?!? I'm a CANDY NINJA!"

Oh, I think she saw me

OH SERIOUSLY she sees me!

I'm going to be sneaky and get some anyway

HEHEHE Candy ninja strikes again!



Something good...I've changed my work schedule to nights. That might not sound good, but I'm home with the kids more and I'm not working 16 hour days!!! YAY

K