Friday, February 11, 2011

Deja Vu

I've done this before, I've been here and NEVER expected it to even remotely happen again. But the most confusing part is the deja vu isn't because of the physical situation, it's the peace that fills me. The worry for my kids, the questioning of life, the planning...

There are a million reasons for what's going on and no one is perfect but, ugh, how do I write this?

Ryan and I have separated. I hate having to say that. But one of my goals for myself was to keep a better family diary/blog and pretending like a huge, life changing event isn't happening isn't honest to myself or anyone else. It has been building for awhile but I am ready to admit it out loud.

We're trying some different things to see if we can repair, but for now, I am feeling peace with my current stance. Those are the moments that just make everything right... feeling the love with my children, the peace that surrounds and comforts me. There is a plan through all of this, and some days (A LOT lately) I question that plan, but in the quiet moments I feel that there is a reason and I need to stay faithful and honest.

Something good... Sydnee had a timed reading test and she did 83 words and got 100% We're going to celebrate tonight! I'm so proud of her!


  1. I'm so sorry Koren! Call me if you need someone to talk to, and remember I love you!!

  2. I'm sorry to hear this Koren. I've been following your blog for a bit now and I know you have been trying so hard. But to not dwell on the negative too much, I've been meaning to ask what part of CO do you live in? I used to live in CO back in '06. Just curious. And by the way, your kids are so cute!

  3. I love you Krash!! You are in my prayers and I admire you SOOO much for all you have been through and you keep on going!! Thank you for your wonderful example and know that I am here thinking of you ALL the time and hope things work out!

  4. Hang in there Baby! You know where I am-- and have my number call if you need anything!