I'm in love

I'm not usually a believer in "fate" I don't magically think the universe will provide my path... I pretty much believe I make my own path.

I could not stand the thought of taking Bella to a shelter, so I posted an add for her on Craigslist and waited for the right family. I was so completely heartbroken as she left and came back and then left again! Long story short, a really active father was looking for a running and hiking partner and he loved Bella. I cried when she left, but I was happy when he called to tell me how great she was doing and how much he loved her.

I've actually been half searching for a Goldendoodle puppy for over 6 months. Nothing too serious, I just knew that I wanted this breed of dog. Half golden retriever, half poodle, no shedding, good with kids.... Literally the day after Bells left there was a new post for Goldendoodle puppies, and at a price I couldn't give up. So we went and got to pick from three little girls. We chose the calm, adorable puppy who while her sisters were running around, she layed down at my feet. She is so far the most perfect puppy ever! I am completely in LOVE with this girl. The kids love her, she sleeps in my bed, she is already so spoiled!

We had two names to pick from and we decided to call her Daisy. Then, since she needs a longer name for her AKHC papers Sydnee wants a princess name, and Ryan wants his last name to be with someone... her official name is

Daisy Aurora Jorgensen

She really is this cute!

Something good... Ryan got a job promotion!!

K

My favorite new book

I read a lot! It's one of my favorite things to do. And I am CONSTANTLY searching for new books to read. I ask my friends, coworkers, patients families....

Once in a while I read a book that I have to share with everyone! Any Memorial peeps remember how I had 3 of my own personal copies of Twilight floating around???? Oh yeah, years before the movies, after I had been introduced (Thanks Fawn!) I put that book into the hands of at least 15 different people!

Well this time, I was wandering around Border's at the mall with Beckham. I was actually there to buy a Phillippa Gregory book (Thanks Brea!) when I saw this.

Alright so my first thought.... ok another "star-crossed lovers" blah book. But BECAUSE of the cover I decided it was worth the $25. (Don't do that, it's only $14 off Amazon, but I have no patience)

I actually didn't dive into reading it the second I got home, still wasn't completely sure... I hate starting books that I don't like, it's a huge disappointment!

I could NOT put this down! I was completely enthralled with the story. The true history of Romeo and Guilietta (which upon my research is actually party true about the progression of the story) PLEASE believe me when I say that it is amazing! I've already sent copies to two of my girls in AZ and given my copy to a coworker. It's the kind of book that seems to seep into your daily life. The suspense and magical feelings of the world you submerge yourself into! If I had to compare it to something I would say it's a DaVinci Code about Shakespeare.

READ IT!!!!

Something good... American Girl has a Hawaiian doll for their doll of the year!

K

Drinks, Disappointments, Dogs and Dates

Colorado weather is so unpredictable! One day it's -15, the next it's warm, then it's so windy Beckham thinks he can fly if only I will let him have 2 papers outside. Well, during the freezing cold we like to bust out some hot chocolate and light a fire in the fireplace.

Sydnee is the first one to start begging for hot chocolate




One of my favorite things about my house is having a wood burning fireplace!


My Valentine's Lillys have bloomed, my house smells AMAZING!!

My camera has completely died! Well it still turns on, but even in manual it won't focus, it freezes up....I'm so sad! I love my camera, and now I'm shopping for a new one. I'm looking at the Nikon D3100, but I'm completely open to suggestions!

Since I'm training for the triathlon (8 weeks!!!) I went and bought some proper running shoes. And since they're not very exciting I made sure I bought the brightest PINKest running laces I could find!

I love my dog. We've had Bella for 2 years. Sydnee picked her out when I decided that living alone with 2 kids would be less scary if I had a dog around. But lately we've been having some issues with her.

Bella is not a kid dog. She sees kids as something to herd, and to dominate over. Anytime other kids are at the house I have to put her in her kennel. She's fine with Beckham and Sydnee and mostly ignores them, but Beckham likes to roughhouse with the dog. And there have been 2 moments when I've seen Bella snap at Beckham when he's trying to play with her.

We had a dog Jack (who ran away) who was amazing with the kids. Sydnee and Becks would roll around on that dog and use him as a pillow.

So kids who are used to a dog that they can climb all over to a dog that snaps at them is just not okay. I've had to keep Bella outside or in her kennel, which isn't fair to her or to our family. So we're starting to look for a new home for Bells. Somewhere she is with older kids and adults. She is well behaved and LOVES me. She follows me around and she is would be a perfect dog if I didn't have kids. I will cry, because I really do love her. But she needs more room to run, people who can allow her to fully be a part of a family and not have to worry about the 4 year old pulling her tail. Wish me luck, that I can find a perfect fit for my Bells where I can feel like she has a happy home!

I was asked out on a date last weekend. Dinner and then Laser Tag.

We doubled with my friend Krystal and her boyfriend James. We tried to go bowling after dinner and ended up in a bowling alley bar waiting for a lane before we finally left for Laser Tag. While we were there I was floored by the fact that there was a Baby Shower in the bowling alley. It was a dirty, 80's music jukebox, jam-packed with people... And I can not think of anything classier than a baby shower in this setting. Yes, I was completely judgemental but it was just about the funniest thing and all I could think in my head was "You might be a redneck..."

As usual when we played Laser Tag, Ryan left me stranded! He ran away as soon as the game started and out of a full game he was ranked #3. While I was #28! Oh well, dating was nice and I made sure to take a pic at the end of the night.

I have this picture on my facebook and I've been getting comments about how Ryan looks like granite, or he looks so sad.... He's not angry, or sad, we tried taking a picture of him smiling and he looked like a little kid so he just didn't smile. That's it! No deeper meaning other than we didn't like the picture of him smiling.

We're trying to work on it. We're still not living together which has been a good step into not fighting. So we're together when we want to be together and we can both have space. But actually going on a date was nice. I don't know what will happen but if I can continue going out with that guy from this weekend then I have hope.

Something good....Texas Roadhouse Caesar Dressing! It is my absolute favorite stuff EVER! And you can buy just the dressing. I eat a spinach salad EVERYDAY with this dressing!

K

Marching on

It's a mess, I'm a mess, can't make any decisions so I don't.

That's my official position, PR line is; when there's something to tell, I'll let you know.

I did get to spend an amazing weekend with my kids. We went to Gnomeo and Juliet, which was adorable! Sydnee actually cried! So cute!

It is Valentine's Day and yes, I did get a very very nice gift. So there's one step toward good, not just because of a gift but because there were some very important actions connected to it.

Something good.... I just read a new book which AMAZING!!! Everyone needs to read it!

K

Deja Vu

I've done this before, I've been here and NEVER expected it to even remotely happen again. But the most confusing part is the deja vu isn't because of the physical situation, it's the peace that fills me. The worry for my kids, the questioning of life, the planning...

There are a million reasons for what's going on and no one is perfect but, ugh, how do I write this?

Ryan and I have separated. I hate having to say that. But one of my goals for myself was to keep a better family diary/blog and pretending like a huge, life changing event isn't happening isn't honest to myself or anyone else. It has been building for awhile but I am ready to admit it out loud.

We're trying some different things to see if we can repair, but for now, I am feeling peace with my current stance. Those are the moments that just make everything right... feeling the love with my children, the peace that surrounds and comforts me. There is a plan through all of this, and some days (A LOT lately) I question that plan, but in the quiet moments I feel that there is a reason and I need to stay faithful and honest.


Something good... Sydnee had a timed reading test and she did 83 words and got 100% We're going to celebrate tonight! I'm so proud of her!
K

Bedtime Stories

I've already said that Sydnee and Beckham's favorite thing is when I lay in bed with them and tell them stories. Usually about them, cause I don't have the brainpower to make anything up. But tonight I told them it was their turn, I wanted them to tell me stories....

Beckham started
"So there was this bat named.....Batty!
And a boy named....Beckham!
And this bat was HUGE, and MEAN, and....GRUMPY!
And the bat said Beckham you can't win me in a fight
(no, that's not proper English but I'm quoting the 4 year old)

And Beckham got some rocks!
and he hit him in the head and he fell down!
And Beckham took his big sword and cut his head off!"

.....I think someone missed the point of David and Goliath


Sydnee's turn
"There were some puppies, and their Mom told them not to go outside of the gate.
But the littlest one went out of the gate into the forest.
And it started snowing!
And then he saw a.....

(Mom, what's the name of the Firefighter dog?
Dalmatian.)

A dalmatian
And the dalmatian was mean and scared him away.
Then the puppy wanted to go home, but when he looked behind him all his footprints were wiped away by the snow.
Then....

His Mom came and whooped his butt?

No, then he saw a dog house covered in dog bones, and he was very hungry.
And he ate the dog bones and a big scary dog tried to eat him.
But then he saw the gate and his home so he ran home.
And then his Mom saw him....

And whooped his butt?

Yeah, probably a hundred times cause he ran away!"

Somehow I think she got a little Hansel and Gretel in that story

Something good....I love my kids!

K