Employee Wanted With Answers

Employee wanted to work in a high stress, constant changing environment. Main duties include answering life's unanswerable questions including; What happened to that hot guy from 16 Candles? Did Ross and Rachel stay together? Why doesn't any restaurant have a LARGE selection of really yummy deserts? Why do I want to put my fingers in my ears and scream "LALALA" when my husband tries to explain something and spends 20 minutes saying the same thing?

Job hazards include being able to have a quick wit to reply to my constant sarcasm. Ability to duck when I throw something which tends to happen every few years (and I have good aim due to years of softball) Frequent picking up of my 38lb 3 year old who insists everyone must pay all their attention to him.

Benefits are not included in the job but I guess since I am a nurse I can take your vitals and distribute some NSAIDs when needed.

Willing to especially work nights, weekends and holidays and be on call constantly! Must have experience in relationships, crazy families and children to be considered.

I just have all these moments in life when I think "Why is this like this?" and someone MUST have the answers!

Please send a detailed text to Something Rinny (cause that's the easiest way to communicate) explaining your true thoughts on Twilight for the application.


Something good.... It's Halloween week! This is my favorite holiday!
K